


Journey Kids

by Cottonstones



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Crushes, F/M, M/M, Road Trips, Slight Alternate Universe, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2017-01-15
Packaged: 2018-09-17 18:05:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9336494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cottonstones/pseuds/Cottonstones
Summary: Dan asks Holly to come on tour with him as NSP's official seamstress. Holly is nervous but decides to join the tour. What she learns is that being on the road is harder than she thought and can bring you closer to someone you thought you already knew.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HerbertBest](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HerbertBest/gifts).



> This was done as a commission for devilgate-drive. I hope you like it! Title is taken from Journey Kid by Empires.

Holly was at a point in her life where she didn’t have much to lose as far as adventuring was concerned. She had her two steady gigs; her Youtube channels and her one part-time job as a seamstress, coupled with doing odd jobs like selling crafts on her Etsy store. Money wasn’t amazing, but it was enough to support herself, and her cats, and the legion of birds she’s adopted over the years. 

The point was that Holly could afford to take some time off and live a little. She could go on an adventure. 

It just so happened that an adventure was exactly what Dan Avidan was offering her. Well, that and a _paying job_ , but Holly was choosing to focus on the adventuring aspect here. 

Ninja Sex Party would soon be embarking on a mini-tour across a handful of states, performing for huge venues and sold out crowds, and Dan was offering to take her along with him. 

“I don’t really see where I fit into all this?” Holly asks, confused and only just a little wary at Dan’s offer. She was used to things being too good to be true and this sure as hell felt like one of those times. 

Dan smiles, wide and soft, the kind of smile that makes the corners of his eyes crinkle. He reaches out and takes her wrist, holding her hand up in the air like her curled fist is a work of art. 

“This, your hands, your _skillsi_. I want you to come on board as NSP’s official seamstress.” 

Holly blinks up at Dan, watching his smile, the mess of his hair framing his cheerful face. She can feel her cheeks going pink, too much attention focused on her tends to make Holly uneasy. 

“Really?” She asks. 

“Yeah, Holl, of course. These shows are big and we’re changing costumes a couple times. If something happens to one of the outfits on the road then Brian and I are straight up fucked, and believe me, there is no way in hell I am letting Brian come at me with a needle in his hand.” 

Holly laughs and Dan lowers her hand, releases her wrist, but Holly still feels the warmth from his fingers like a bruise, like a mark that will never erase from her skin. 

“Please Holly?” Dan says, there’s a pitiful pleading to his voice, “I need you.” 

“I…” Holly says, willing herself not to jump immediately to yes. She needs to be logical about this. The birds, the cats, someone’s gotta take care of them while she’s gone. _If_ she decides to go, “Can I give you an answer later on tonight?” 

Dan looks mildly disappointed that she didn’t say yes right now, the bright grin falls from his handsome face, but he nods, gives her a small smile and reaches out to squeeze her shoulder. 

“Of course, yeah, just make sure it’s tonight okay? I need to let our crew know as soon as I can.” 

“Sure,” Holly says, tucking strands of purple hair behind her ears. 

Dan steps away from her to go and find Arin to begin their recording session for the day. Holly watches him go, eyes trained on his long lean figure, her heart racing at the offer he laid out for her. Her adventures are usually restrained to fiction, to _Dungeons and Dragons_ campaigns laid out for her friends, but this was an adventure being handed to her by Dan, a very unlikely source. 

Could she really do it? Commit to leaving her home, pets, and jobs behind to work for Dan for something close to a month? Nerves race up Holly’s spine and she sets down the sewing kit she had been fiddling with, turns on her heels, and makes a beeline for Ross’s desk. 

Ross is working on an animation when she finds him. He barely spares her a glance as she stands at his desk, but Holly knows that’s out of him being in the zone rather than him disrespecting her. 

“Hey, Holl, what’s up?” 

“I maybe have a big and hypothetical favor to ask you,” Holly says, her fingers tugging nervously at the hem of her cream-colored, polka dot adorned skirt. 

Ross might hear the odd tone in her voice because he sets his pen aside and spins his chair to face her, a look of concern creeping across his features.

“What kind of favor?” 

“I just…I might need you to go over and feed the birds…and babysit the cats? For like, a month?” 

Ross arches an eyebrow, “What’s going on?” 

Holly sighs, Ross has a way of getting straight to the point, “Dan asked me to go on tour with him as NSP’s seamstress. If I do, I’ll be gone a month or so and I need someone I can _trust_ to watch the animals.” 

A smile blooms across Ross’s face big and sudden and it makes Holly a tad nervous. His eyes glint as he nods, “Sure, I can do that.” 

“You can?” Holly asks, trying to keep any skepticism out of her voice. 

“Yeah! I’ll make Barry help me.” 

That’s a relief to Holly. She’s always considered Barry the more responsible half of the duo, but Ross has helped her with the cats and birds before, and they are closer than Holly and Barry are, so she asked him first. 

“Thanks Ross,” Holly says and she leans in to give him a hug. Ross presses his cold nose against her neck and it makes Holly laugh as she pulls away from him. 

“Oh, no problem. You go and have fun on tour,” Ross says as he picks up his pen, his eyes flickering with some emotion that Holly can’t quite place. 

Dan is recording with Arin so she can’t let him know the good news until after the session is over, or at least until one of them decides to take a bathroom break. She’s nervous, wishing she could just tell him now, could commit to the idea before her own brain and fears talk her out of it. 

An hour passes before Holly hears the door to the recording room swing open. She holds her breath waiting to see which of them it is that’s come out. To Holly’s relief she catches sight of an unruly mass of curls rounding the corner and heading towards the bathroom. 

“Dan,” Holly says, watching as Dan whirls around on instinct, a grin on his face. He looks mildly confused to still see her hanging around the office. Holly’s heart skips into double time, “I, uh, I know I said I’d text you later and tell you my answer to your offer, but, I…um, I’ll do it. I’ll come with you on tour.” 

“Really?” Dan asks. 

Holly nods, “Yeah, it sounds good.” 

Dan grins and then he’s rushing at her and his long thin arms are winding around Holly’s form as he hugs her tightly, nearly picking her up off her feet. 

“Thank you, Holly.” 

“Well, thank you for asking me,” Holly says, patting his back, his skin warm through the t-shirt he’s wearing. 

Dan lets her go, but his hands linger at her forearms as they part, “Are you kidding? There’s no one else I’d rather ask.” 

Something warm glows inside of Holly’s stomach and she smiles down at her feet, a little embarrassed by Dan’s praises. 

“When do we leave?” Holly asks. 

“About two weeks!” Dan says. He jerks his thumb towards the bathroom, “I gotta get back to recording but I’ll text you the info later!” 

Holly nods and watches Dan go. She takes a breath and though she’s glad to have said yes, and she _wants_ to go, a part of her is still nervous. Big changes make Holly uneasy, she likes life to be steady and predictable and she just signed herself up for something very out of her comfort zone. 

\--

Two weeks later Holly is throwing a handful of folded t-shirts into her suitcase as Ross sits on her bed. 

“Okay, and what about Huniebun?” 

Holly looks over her shoulder at Ross, “You can take her out for about an hour every day.” 

“Holly!” Barry calls from somewhere in the house, “Dan’s here!” 

Holly groans and she tugs open a drawer on her dresser, haphazardly tossing underwear and socks into the case. 

“It’s just a month,” Ross says, “Chill. I’m sure there will be laundromats, Holl.” 

Holly presses her suitcase down and zips it as fast as she can. She doesn’t want to keep Dan waiting and they have to meet up with Brian at the airport in two hours. 

Holly straightens up and tugs the suitcase out into the hallway. Barry is already letting Dan into the house and Holly feels mild panic because she feels like she isn’t ready; even if she’s all packed up and good to go, she can’t help but feel like she’s forgetting something, something integral to every part of her. 

Dan meets her eyes, “Ready Holly?”

“I have my bag right here!” Holly says brightly. She doesn’t want to make Dan think she isn’t prepared, or make him second-guess asking her to come along. 

Dan smiles and steps up to take her bag from where it rests next to her leg. He carries it out to his car and Holly frets as she tries to remember any last-minute things she might need, any last second instructions to give Ross and Barry. She had already typed up a guide on the birds for them to use while she’s gone. 

“Text me if you have any issues,” Holly says into Ross’s shoulder as he hugs her. 

“It’ll be fine,” Ross says, patting Holly’s head as he releases her, “Now you two crazy kids have fun out there.” 

Holly shoots Ross a look as he ushers her out of her house, through the door, and out into the hot, bright California sun. Dan’s all loaded up and he grins at her as he lowers his sunglasses on his face, looking far too much like a guy about to hop in his sports car and peel out of her driveway. 

“Bye guys! Have fun on tour!”

“Thanks! Love you guys!” Dan calls as he climbs in the car. 

Holly settles in on her side, waving to Barry and Ross and willing the tight ball of nerves in her stomach to disappear. 

Then Dan is taking off and he’s heading toward the airport. Suddenly, it’s just the two of them in the quiet space of Dan’s car. The radio is on a low hum and Dan taps his hands against the wheel to whatever song is playing. 

Holly and Dan are friends, but she’s never felt personally involved in his work projects. She’s happy that NSP is doing well and she wants all of her friends to succeed, but much like her attitude towards Game Grumps, it wasn’t _her_ work. Now it sorta was, and now she didn’t really know what to do. 

“Are you excited?” Dan asks, breaking up the silence in the car. 

Holly nods, gives Dan a smile, “I am. I’ve always liked traveling, getting paid to do it is even better.” 

“Don’t forget you’ll also have the luxury of watching Brian and I rock the fuck out every night,” Dan says with a wink. 

“Yeah, there’s that too. I can’t remember the last time I was able to see you guys play live. You’re probably even better than the last time I saw you.” 

“I hope we can live up to your memories.” 

Holly watches the traffic surge around them as they grow closer to the airport. She’s actually really glad that Dan offered to drive the two of them considering how stressed out Holly already feels about leaving and how the busy traffic would only amplify that feeling for her. 

“Shouldn’t be too hard for you,” Holly says, turning to look at Dan now. 

Dan laughs and opens his mouth to speak, but then a song on the radio catches his attention and before Holly knows it, he’s excitedly rambling about how much he loves the song and attempting to sing-along at the same time. 

\--

“Let’s name her Black Beauty!” Dan says, patting the wide side of the tour bus lovingly. 

“Like the horse?” Holly asks. 

“That’s dumb as shit,” Brian says, crossing his arms. 

The three of them had showed up to the meeting point where they were picking up the tour bus that would be used for the tour. It’s the first one NSP has ever used before, or at least that’s what Dan had said as he had talked excitedly to Holly in the backseat of the van on the way to the lot. 

Dan looks ecstatic and Holly feels giddy for him. She doesn’t know much about the music industry but she knows this is a big step for the band and she’s happy for them, happy to be a part of something so big. 

“We can do a vote,” Dan says, “I like Black Beauty and…Brian?” 

“The Cold Dark Void or CDV.” 

Dan sighs but a smile graces his face as he looks to Holly, “Holl, care to be our tie-breaker?” 

She fidgets as they both turn their gazes on her. 

“I’m going to have to go with Black Beauty, sorry, Brian.” 

Dan hoots and he throws a fist in the air before he hustles over to Holly and gives her a high-five. 

“Impeccable beauty _and_ taste,” Dan says, winking at Holly. 

She laughs and her chest feels warm and bright. 

\--

Dan shows Holly around the Black Beauty. Which honestly, takes all of a minute and a half. There’s a small lounge area, a tiny bathroom, and four beds which are fashioned into bunks of sorts. Two on the left and two on the right with an upper and lower bunk, the only privacy being a small curtain that can be pulled over the opening. 

“Brian’s taking that bunk,” Dan says, motioning towards the right-hand beds, “You don’t have an assigned one but as a little survival tip, he does snore.” 

“I’ll take this one then,” Holly says, tugging the curtain back on the lower left hand bed. 

“We’ll be bunk buddies!” Dan says with a laugh as he opens the curtain on the top bunk above Holly’s. 

The last place he shows her is the back room. There’s a couch back here with a small square table. 

“I know it’s not ideal but this is your workspace. I hope it’s okay?” Dan asks, like he’s nervous about it not being up to Holly’s standards. 

“It’s fine, Dan,” She says, touching his arm, warmed by the fact that she was being designated her own space on a bus without much of it to offer, “It’ll be a nice test of my skills too. I just hope I’m good enough for you.” 

“Are you kidding? You’re perfect,” Dan’s voice is soft and quiet in the stillness of the bus. 

For a moment, it’s just them in the lonely space and Holly is watching him because he’s not laughing, he’s not playing anything off, he’s dead serious and it makes her almost squirm with how his deep eyes seem to be pinning her. 

Brian pounds his fist against the side of the bus from outside. 

“We gotta load our bags!” he calls and the moment is shattered, like a spell, propelling Holly through the bus to go and help Brian. 

\--

The first show is in California and Holly stands backstage while NSP performs. The crowd is huge and screams louder than almost anything else she’s ever heard. Holly’s seen them perform live before but it’s been a while and Dan’s improved since then. 

The crowd eats up his performance and Dan bounces around the stage a mix of glitter and spandex. He’s completely in his element, the way Holly thinks maybe she feels when she’s working on a costume or when she’s with her birds. 

It’s after Dan’s performance that Holly’s job begins. The costumes are hung on a rack in the backstage area and Holly gives them a once over, hands skimming over sequins as she checks the outfits over. Dan tends to be physical on stage and Holly is worried about seams popping, about too many sequins or extras falling away from the main outfit. 

They are set to leave for tour tonight after the equipment is all packed away so there is no time for her to go and launder the pieces. She uses a refresher spray on them to help keep them fresh in the wake of the sweat clinging to fabric, it’ll be passable until tomorrow when she’s in a new city and can seek out a laundromat. 

\--

Post-show Dan is oddly quiet. He’s wrapped in his jacket, a cup of tea in his hands, humming softly as the tour bus sways along the road. Brian is on the phone with Rachel in the back of the bus and that leaves Holly and Dan in the quiet space of the front lounge. 

Maybe Dan feels her stare because he looks up from his phone and smiles, “What’s up?” 

“Oh,” Holly says, “Nothing really. I guess I was just zoning out?” 

“You don’t get car sick, do you?” Dan asks, concern lacing his features. 

Holly smiles gently at his worry, “No, I’m fine. I was just thinking, I guess about how fast everything happens. Just a couple hours ago, you were on stage for thousands of people and now we’re in a bus and it’s quiet enough to hear a pin-drop.” 

“Yeah,” Dan says, “It’s always weird. I usually get this weird loneliness on the road. So many people want to be around me and I can’t be there the way they want and then at the same time I’m kinda isolated, even with Brian around, you know?” 

Holly nods, remembers cons and meet-ups and how strange it all feels. 

“That’s why I’m pretty glad you’re here this time,” Dan continues and Holly blinks as she focuses on him. He’s watching her now, “Even if we’re just sitting here like now, you’re good company. You’re peaceful.” 

Holly fights the blush that wants to leave her, “Thanks, Dan.” 

He nods at her and then silence takes them over again and Dan shifts his gaze back to his phone. 

“I’m, uh, I’m glad to be here too, just so you know,” Holly adds, almost nervously. 

Dan’s eyes find her over his phone and he smiles, those deep brown eyes glittering at her. 

\-- 

Dan’s life is so hectic, even from the outside looking in, but now Holly is on the _inside_ and it’s a struggle to adapt to the business, how different it is from her own usually laidback existence. 

They’ve been on tour three days so far and each one has felt like a whirlwind. It feels like Dan always has something to do, somewhere to be, he’s being herded off to dress rehearsals, to his vocal warm-ups. He can’t easily go out like Holly and Brian. Usually one of them is bringing food back for Dan. Even in the small windows of downtime backstage before the performance or when they are traveling to the next city, there’s always something he feels like he _should_ be working on, like when the three of them are tucked into the lounge area and Dan and Brian are bouncing ideas for songs or videos off each other. On these occasions, Dan, more often than not, will try to get Holly to agree with his side of the argument.

The only real peaceful moments where it feels like Dan doesn’t do anything at all is the time after the show when they are on the bus and winding down and Brian is FaceTiming with Rachel and Audrey, leaving Holly with Dan. It’s become something like a routine, and for what little time they’ve been together, she looks forward to sharing that quiet space with him, letting him relax for once. 

\--

Dan wakes up on day four with a tickle in his throat. Each time he clears his throat his eyes go wide, as if he’s dying and this is a clear sign of that. 

“I can’t get sick,” he whines at the small table he’s sat at. 

Holly is leaning against the makeshift counter, her feet swaying under the constantly moving floor; it’s almost like being on a boat and she hasn’t quite gotten her sea legs yet. 

“You’re only human,” Holly reminds him. 

“Yeah, a human who depends on his voice as his job. If I get sick or lose my voice, it’s going to ruin the show, the whole tour, if I have to cancel or some shit the fans are going to hate me.” 

“I don’t think you’re getting sick. I think you overexerted yourself. You give all you have to every performance, which is good for the audience, but I’m not so sure how it’s working out for your health.” 

Dan sighs and glances out the slant of window next to him where the road is whizzing by. “I want to make it a good experience for them, I want to be proud of my performance and show everyone that despite how silly our music is that I’m serious about it.” 

“I think anyone that knows you knows how serious you are about music, Dan.” 

Holly turns away from him for a moment to dig into the cupboards above the counter. She grabs Dan’s usual tea and fills up the cup with water. She also grabs down the container of honey as she pops his water into the microwave. 

“What are you doing?” Dan asks. 

“Making you some tea. Maybe it will calm your nerves and your throat.” 

When Dan’s tea is done Holly dips in the delicate bag of leaves and adds in a helpful squirt of honey. Carefully she walks the tea over to Dan, handing it off to him. His fingers brushing hers as they exchange the cup and Dan’s hands are soft and warm. 

“Let it cool, okay?” Holly says as Dan blows across the surface of the tea before setting it down on the table top nestled between his notebooks and cell phone. 

Dan opens his mouth to speak but he’s cut off by a “Hold on!” called from the driver up front. 

“What?” Holly says, panic seeping into her as suddenly the bus goes over a bump, jostling Holly on her feet. She’s sure she’s going to fall, maybe even knock her head against any of the nearby available surfaces but Dan is up and he’s moving with lightning fast reflexes. 

His arm curls around her waist, his other hand gripping a handle near their heads. Dan pulls her close as the bus steadies itself, as movement becomes normal again. Holly’s heart is going a million miles an hour, her face pressed against Dan’s soft worn t-shirt, breathing in his now familiar scent. His arm is heavy and secure around her waist, something buzzing under her skin from where he’s touching her. 

“You okay, Holly?” Dan breathes into her hair, his breath ruffling the purple tresses. 

“Um, yeah, I’m okay. That was surprising is all.” 

They are still standing together, he’s still holding her and Holly can’t quite breathe. Dan is the one that finds himself first. “Shit, sorry,” he says, letting her go and Holly is released back to the rocking movement of the bus from the steady grip of Dan’s hold. 

“It’s okay, thanks.” She says, and she can still smell Dan all around her, “um, enjoy your tea.” 

“Thanks,” Dan says, picking up his cup and blowing across the surface again. 

\--

That night Holly has trouble sleeping. She’s in her bunk and it’s quiet though she can hear the distant rumble of Brian snoring from the right side of the bus. Her mind flips through too many things, her list of duties, that night’s show – Dan had been phenomenal and you never would have guessed he had been worried about his voice at all – and how only a very small part of her misses home. 

Her thoughts are shaken by a breathy sigh from above and Holly looks upwards at the dark ceiling of bunk above her. Dan is up there and it feels oddly intimate in a way to be sleeping so close to him but still be detached by walls and space. She’s close enough to hear his sleepy breathing, to hear him shift against the mattress as he moves and turns. 

Holly’s mind flickers to the memory of when Dan had held her, his arms strong around her middle, her face up near his neck. Holly’s stomach twists. How long had it been since she had been held? Too long if Holly was being honest. Dan is her friend but his touch reminded her of what she had been missing. Embarrassed, Holly turns over on her stomach and presses her face into the soft pillowcase and refuses to think about what Dan might look like up there, shirtless, lax, and warm with sleep. 

\--

Day six and at some point, during the performance in some unknown city - seriously, Holly can’t keep up with where they are at any given moment, the cities begin to blur, faces and locations all beginning to look at the same - when Dan is dancing on stage, he catches his ankle against a light fixture. It isn’t until after the show that either of them notice the thin tear in the standard Danny Sexbang outfit. 

Dan, standing backstage in his street clothes, cradles the costume in his arms like it’s a wounded animal. He looks up at her with guilty eyes as he gingerly hands over his outfit to her. Holly’s insides flood with fondness for the man in front of her. He’s so sweet, so kind, something childlike about him and his movements, the way he sees life. 

“I can fix it,” Holly says, feeling just a tad bit like a mother promising to repair her child’s favorite toy, “Don’t worry, okay?” 

“I trust you,” Dan says and he’s not laughing. His words settle on Holly like a blanket, curling warm around her shoulders, brushing at her heart. 

She takes his costume from him, feels the remnants of warmth from when he had been wearing it. Dan goes and sits at the vanity set up backstage. Holly watches him for a moment as he eyes himself in the mirror before he picks up a hair tie and begins to attempt to tame his curls into a ponytail. 

Holly has to force herself to look away from him, to focus on his costume in her arms. He’s ridiculously handsome, it’s clear to nearly anyone that looks at him, but Holly had always tried to dismiss the notion. Dan was a dork, made dumb jokes, liked to drink tea and barely had any clothes that properly fit his lanky frame. She glances back at him where he’s still sat at the vanity and he smooths a hand over his tied back hair, catches her gaze in the mirror, and his reflection smiles at her. 

Holly looks away and hurries to the table to begin patching up the Danny Sexbang outfit. If she’s fast she’ll finish before they even leave the venue to head back to the bus. 

\--

Tour life is strange in the way that time seems far more obscure than it ever does at home. Holly is a night owl in general, but the erratic schedule of the road only fucks with her internal clock that much more. She often feels both tired and energized in a strange way. 

Another thing about being on the road is that certain nights feel like pages of a different life, events that come and go too fast, too strange to really comprehend them. Tonight felt like one of those kinds of nights. 

It’s three a.m. and the tour bus is parked at a gas station in some small town. The concrete parking lot is flooded with bright neon pink and green lights that flicker promises of twenty-four-hour convenience. Holly and Dan are the only ones awake besides the driver who had made the stop so he could fuel up the bus, take a piss, and grab some coffee. 

Holly isn’t sure why she’s awake, but sleep had been elusive and she wanted to stretch her legs now that the opportunity presented itself. She strolls down the different aisles, looking at brightly packaged snacks, sodas, and overpriced road trip necessities. 

Dan finds her in one of the aisles, bounding up to her and why he has so much energy so late at night is a mystery to her. 

“Look at this,” Dan says, holding out a little plastic snow globe, a small toy black bear stuck inside in a perpetual snowstorm. 

“It’s cute,” Holly says, though she thinks the meaning is lost on her. 

“I was thinking of getting it for Arin. He loves snow globes.” 

“Aw, that’s sweet, Dan.” 

“I might have looked for a bird one, but alas, just bears.” 

Holly grins, “That’s okay, I probably have too much bird stuff in my house.” 

“Is there such a thing?” Dan asks. 

“There’s a fine line. When I become the crazy bird lady you are all going to wish you’d stopped me ahead of time.” 

“I’ll still like you even when you’re the weird bird lady, Holly,” Dan says, his tone giddy and affectionate. 

They’re friends. Holly reminds herself of this. They’re friends and his affection is a part of a friendship with Dan. He’s a huge sap who buys snow globes for his friends, who loves them despite their flaws, it doesn’t mean anything. 

Some small and stupid part of Holly’s brain reminds her that Dan’s friendships sometimes include hook-ups, casual sex, the line between friendship and romance is a cluttered and blurry mess for Dan. She swallows, adverts her eyes, and picks up a bag of chips. 

“Thanks, Dan,” she says, “Um, are you still shopping for anything?” 

“Oh, yeah,” Dan says, “I was gonna grab some candy.” 

“I’m gonna go pay for this then,” Holly says, feeling as though she needs an excuse to slip away from him, from the conversation. Why did her chest feel tight? Why was she nervous all over again? 

Dan lets her go and Holly walks to the front of the counter and pays for her bag of chips and a bottle of water. She strolls out of the store and into the quiet and cool night. It’s odd for her to be so far away from home but she likes the idea of being lost, even if it’s temporarily. She has no clue where she’s at, where she’s going, she’s just along for the ride and it’s a nice feeling. 

Holly stares up at the darkened sky, broken by the jutting white lights of the parking lot. The night air cool in her lungs as she stands in front of the store, not quite ready to head back to the bus, her body no more tired than it had been when she stepped off it. 

There’s the ding of the bell above the door and then Dan is padding out in the parking lot, a paper sack in his hands. He comes to stand next to her. They are quiet, maybe a little of the awkwardness from inside the store clinging to the two of them. 

Dan hums next to her, “I’m really glad you’re here, Holly.” 

“So you have someone to make late night snack runs with you?” 

Dan laughs, but he sobers up quickly, “I mean it. You’re busy so I was nervous to ask you to come on tour, scared you’d say no, because I couldn’t imagine anyone else by my side and that I trusted as much as you, you know?” 

Holly can feel her face heat up, “Oh.” 

“I’m sorry, I’m being weird,” Dan says, the bag rustling in his arms, “I just mean that…I’m happy. I hope you’re happy too.” 

Holly turns to look at him, “I’m happy. Thank you for asking me along. I might not have ever gotten to experience this if not for you.” 

Dan’s smile is big, quiet in the glowing lights around them. 

“I’d always bring you with me if I could.” 

His words take her aback, fill her with warmth again. He’s looking at her with deep dark eyes, studying her, and Holly’s body feels foreign under his gaze. 

Suddenly, the bus driver’s voice cuts through the night, “We’re ready to head out, guys!” 

The shell around them is broken and Dan shifts his gaze from Holly to the man. 

“Okay!” 

Together, quietly, they walk back to the tour bus. 

Holly doesn’t sleep a wink that night. 

\--

The end of tour comes sooner than Holly had anticipated. Suddenly NSP is playing its last show. There’s been a weird energy on the bus all day, something big and frantic, a pulsing living thing surging around them. If Holly thought Dan put on a good show normally, it’s nothing compared to this last show. He pulls out all the stops. He pours his entire heart into the performance, leaving everything for the audience to take with them. 

Holly watches from the wings, listens to the cheers, to Dan singing his heart out. She swells with pride and something like sadness. The feeling of the tour ending reminds her a little of camp, of knowing you’re going home and leaving this world that feels like it exists only for you. 

There won’t ever be a way to reclaim this feeling, this moment, and it makes Holly almost want to live in it forever. Dan finishes the last note of the last song and he bows before the crowd, waving to them as he and Brian move off-stage. 

“That was amazing!” Holly says to Dan as he makes a beeline for her, “I’m so proud of you, ah!” Holly squeals as Dan suddenly scoops her up into a tight hug, his arms holding her as they had when he kept her balance on the bus. He spins her in a small circle before he sets her on the ground again. 

“Sorry, I’m just so excited. That was such a good show!” Dan says, his hands skating down her arms. 

Holly tucks a strand of purple hair behind her ear, “It was, it was amazing, Dan.” She feels that sorrow again, plucking at her insides. All of the sudden she seems to know why the tour ending is making her sad. She hugs Dan, she’s the brave and stupid one this time as she wraps her arms around his warm middle, her face against his chest, “I’m going to miss you,” she breathes against his body. 

It’s stupid and makes no sense because they are going back to the same place, the same lives where they are friends. She’ll see him, but at the same time, it won’t be like this. Holly doesn’t think she’ll ever feel as close to Dan again in their average lives as she did on this tour. 

Dan doesn’t question her. He doesn’t ask what she means, maybe he feels it too, the disconnect they have in their everyday lives. This tour brought them together in an odd kind of way and Holly isn’t ready for it to be over yet. 

His hands cup her face, tilting it up to meet his gaze. Dan’s eyes are more serious than she’s ever seen before and she can’t bring herself to look away this time. He stares down at her and her hands are at his hips. He’s still in his Sexbang outfit as he leans in towards her.

“You don’t have to miss me.” 

Then, on the edge of the stage, with the crowd roaring behind them, they are kissing. 

It’s slow and soft, innocent, but Holly tingles all over, a fire igniting in the pit of her stomach. She’s not sure what any of this means, what’s happening right now, what this means for her and for Dan. They are going back home, back to California, and Holly doesn’t know what happens then, when real life resumes and this plane of existence where they kiss and spend quiet moments together falls away. It’s a conversation to be had, it remains to be seen, it’s a big, fat, unknown in Holly’s life. 

It feels like the beginning of an adventure.


End file.
